Posts filed under victims

Always there

"Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death." - Hunter Doherty Patch Adams

When I heard about Robin Williams and his sad goodbye, my World stopped for a while. I was soaked into my deep Self, where things from my past were waiting to be awakened again. And that day came...


There he was, a boy from my childhood, the happiest kid in the neighborhood. Always laughing, always full of life, always making others people's lives a little bit brighter. And then, one day, he was gone. A suicide. At age 13. And a big wound in my heart.

Years passed by. The best years of my life were spent in a beautiful presence of a guy I really liked. He made us laugh, love life and he was our guide into a soulful life, focusing on the others. He was my inspiration - to live better, to do better. And then, one day, he was gone. Cancer. At age 20. And a big wound in my heart.

In a way, Robin Williams was for me a projection of those two people. He had the same 'glow' around him as I remembered I saw around my friends. He helped me to keep my friends in my heart - they were always there, very alive, very true.

I believe they were part of my path into Art therapy. I've always had a need to help people to be who they really are. The quiet ones, depressed ones, sad ones, the 'happy' ones, the abused ones, the poor ones... They were my teachers and they were my patients. They were my motivation and inspiration.


So I chose a path, called Art Therapy. But the World today doesn't want to deal with people who need help. The World closes its eyes and pretends they are gone. And for those, who do want to help, it feels like they are fighting with the windmills. The system wanted my money, but not my help. So, my life-path had to change a direction. I decided to invest the money into people, not a system. Because of that, my journey will be longer and harder, but Art therapy will always be with me, no matter what. And my friends, and Robin Williams and all the people I've worked with on my journey will always be there, too. Because of them I won't give up the things that are written in my heart, probably from the day I was born.

That's why I would like to dedicate this post and a video from my favorite Williams's movie role 'Patch Adams' to all of you who dream about a better World, better people and things we could do to make our lives brighter. Let the video inspire you to give, do and feel the best you can, and never give up your dreams, your true Self.

"You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome." - Hunter Doherty Patch Adams


Do what you Love – Love what you do

 'Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm…' (Charlie Chaplin)

What do you do in your Life, with your Life? Do you do what brings you joy and hapiness? Do you listen to your heart and dreams?

Years ago, when I was staying in America, it was my first time when I heard about Art Therapy. 'Hm', I said, 'that sounds interesting! Hm, that's something I would love to do!' But, I was young and oh-not-so-ready to study Jung, Freud and who-knows-who in English… I thought I had all my life ahead of me… and off I went back home and forgot all about that (but never forgot it deep in my heart).

15 years later, my life and my heart brought me back to Art Therapy again. This time I listened, this time I was ready. Luckily, I didn't have to study it in English or abroad as I signed for the post-graduate programme at our University in Ljubljana. And the studying has changed my Life. I would see people differently, I would listen to them differently, I would do things differently… I looked at my Life globally, universaly… Oh, how I loved Art Therapy with all my heart!!

During that time I also had a job I loved. I worked with the victims and eye-witnesses of 'bigger' crimes. I worked for the government, but that was not why I liked my job. I liked working with people who came to me. I was so thankful that those people trusted me the most secret stories of their lives – the sad stories, the pain, the loneliness, the silence… They've taught me so much about Life – what is really important, how to forgive, move on, stay strong… Sometimes I asked myself: 'Who am I to deserve this trust?' But my heart would always give me the same answer: 'You were born for that!'

However, something was missing in that great job. First, I couldn't really help the victims, I couldn't use Art Therapy to help them back to their inner balance and out of the silence and pain. Second, I didn't get much support or understanding from my bosses or colleagues. For them, the victims or the suspects were just statistics… It was painful to watch and be part of that environment.

But maybe that was just a reminder to get back to myself, to stop, to re-think about my life and listen to the whispers of my heart again. My heart said 'no more'! 'Do what you were born to do!' I knew what my heart was longing to do. I wanted to help the victims of crime and people in need with Art Therapy and Phototherapy techniques… I wanted to work with people who believed in me and I believed in them… I wanted to offer them the best of Me…

What to do?

I gathered my courage and jumped from my safe nest into the business world, all by myself, only me, my Self and my heart. Was I scared, was I unsure?? Yes, I was, but when I thought about the victims of crime, I said to myself: 'If they could do it, I can do it too. If they survived sexual abuse, rape, everyday beating, a robbery, a knife or a gun on their neck, the never-ending fear…, I can survive too.  I will follow my heart and its whispers and let myself go'…

When I create, I have those victims and people in need in my mind all the time. They inspire me, they guide me, they remind me to open my heart and spread Love.  My business is dedicated to teach people how to talk to each other, esp. children and people who were hurt, how to use creative process to learn to solve problems and heal ourselves, and to support people in need, esp. victims of crime. I'm not 100% doing everything what I really want as my business is young and our government is not very generous with the funds for social programmes, but I won't give up to walk towards my goal. It might take another 15 years to actually do what I want to do, but I now know the way and I know my direction. Even if I will loose my way, my heart will bring me back on the track. Now I know.

So, do what you Love to do and don't be affraid to fly – your heart will take you to the right place at the right time for sure! It might take you years, but you will always find yourself back at the place where you can do the things 'you were born for'. Everything in our lives has a reason and is inviting you to grow!

'As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything surrounded me was inviting me to grow.' (Charlie Chaplin)

 marked by the muse, stephey baker, creative living, art blog, artist

Thank you for stopping by. It is wonderful to be one of the participants of The Courage to Fly Blog Hop (created esp. for You by the wonderful Muse Stephey Baker). Please, visit other inspiring stories by clicking the links here.

*If this is your first visit here, you are most welcome to join me on my creative path:

Thank you and have an inspiring, fulfilling and courageous day!

Pst, don't tell!

A few posts ago I told you that I was upset. And I still am.
Are you mentally prepared for the 'hard truth' for which a very few people know (or wants to know)?

The cause is something that we heard in our news... First, I spent some time thinking whether I should say something about it on my blog, as this blog is focused on more positive, creative side of our lives, and whose main task is to promote creativity and creative thinking. But since I was actually brought here just because of these 'issues', I said that it is ok to write about it here.
The 'issues' are called victims.

As we heard in the news, there was one case, where the court acquitted the priest, because the 'touching of girls was not sexual harassment'. Why? Since in the act there was no 'sexual instinct' in the perpetrator and it was 'irrelevant factor how the injured party perceived his offense'.
If these allegations are well read, then I hope you understand why it upset me.

Luckily there was a columnist who then described the matter as it should be - for Dummies, that everyone understood why we (some of us) were upset! If possible, please read her article in our newspaper Dnevnik, on Tuesday, 22.2.2011 under the heading 'Guilty'. Tanja Lesničar - Pučko explains that touching and interfering in the intimate area IS harassment of any individual!

Anyway, I will not go into details, because the article really tells everything, so I will not repeat its contents.

I would like to say something else...

Because such things happen the victims in our country are what they are. Guilty, guilty, guilty.
In my 10-year career working with victims and witnesses of serious crimes, 90% of them told me that they were sorry to report the crime. Because they were regarded as having committed the crimes, as if they themselves were looking for and asking for what happened to them, whether it was a street robbery or rape. I saw many who went home without having someone who would help them. What have these victims done at home? What choices they had: to swallow as many pills as possible in order to 'forget' the event or lock into the apartment to close themselves of this World. And because we don't see the victims, they don't exist!
How many victims actually call for help themselves?
Who sends them somewhere for help and where?
Do not tell me that they have available SOS-telephones. - Tell me rather who keeps records, what happens to these people after they are 'nicely' treated by the Police and when they go home. How many of these people call for help?
Who is actually helping the victims in a professional way to get internal balance...?

What I saw how some people work with the victims and witnesses of crime, and what the victims told me, has prompted me to go. Because I was sick when I saw how the victims were treated. The victims or perpetrators - they talked to them the same. Yes, all the same: the same people were having 'interviews' with the perpetrators and with the victims. In the same way. Everything is suspicious, everything is not-true, all is 'oh not so bad', everything is irrelevant... And such people think they know everything, they don't need someone to remind them of something or to propose to work better. No, they already know everything. And they also know that the victims are too weak to complain about how they are treated...

How many of us know or want to know what happens to victims? Since the victims are quiet and hidden from the World, they are not existing. And, yeah, they are ok in a day or two anyway...
Anyone who studies the psychology, human brain, emotions, etc. knows the real effects of the crime. He/She knows that the victims may be going through this:

And let me tell you that this is 'mild' way what victims are doing to themselves. What the victims do to themselves if they are not heard, is difficult to explain, because often we think that it is not true. And the perpetrators exploit our ignorance. Or, the victims become perpetrators...

I am upset how our government treats the victims. I will do my best to change something, even if it will happen just before I die. I left the institution that should have provided the confidence, security, assistance, expertise, because I saw that that was not true and that I won't reach my goal: to help the victims of crimes. Therefore, I decided to open my own business Creatissimo, although I (the way I see it now) will have a long road to achieve my original goal.

I am thankful for people who are already working on this, as they give me an example and hope. I now believe that my goal is tangible. Thank you to keep on going!

(Cathy Malchiodi is my big idol)

I hope I did not spoil your (happy) day. I didn't write as much as I wanted, because I hope that you will read between the lines. I want to let people know what is happening and I hope that professionalism will override all those smart 'blah-blah-blah's' how they all work 'oh-so-hard' on this field and how professional their work is. And this is only a fraction of what I might have written on this topic...

Stay brave! :)

Posted on March 10, 2011 and filed under art therapy, creative process, misc, victims.